Lauren Eliz Love is the founder of Badass Business Babe and helps transform and the businesses and the women who run them. She lives in Connecticut with her amazing hubby (the official Badass Business Bro) and cute fur babies Zoey and Animal (her little mascots). In 2015, she quit my job to pursue her hunger for making a bigger impact in the world. She left her job as a network news television producer and set out to grow a blog and personal development brand called What is Perfection. In less than two years, she had created a multiple six-figure coaching business. Shortly after, hundreds of women were coming up to her asking how they could effectively grow their businesses to that level. And there you have it- Badass Business Babe was formed.
Here are takeaways from our conversation:
12AM-9AM SHIFT BEGINNINGS
Lauren did a lot of chasing the fake house of straws for most of her life, and was creating a life mostly for others but not for herself. At 23, she had done all the things she thought she was supposed to do, yet felt incredibly unfulfilled. She started a blog and had a marriage at the time that ended up falling apart. She kept listening to that faint voice in her head to create something to help other women through her experiences. Throughout her journey, she remarried and created Badass Business Babe, where she helps women that are craving inner and business transformation.
Lauren was conditioned as a child that the harder you work, the more successful you’ll be and the more impressed people will be with you. Lauren was interested in theater growing up and began overworking at a young age- she went to every audition and tried to do all the things. That overwork mentality kept showing up in all aspects of her life. As an entrepreneur, she was working so hard that it caused her to feel a deep sadness. As a television news producer before entrepreneurship, she worked from 12am-9am and felt incredible exhaustion and burnout. She didn’t have awareness at the time to stop herself and take care of herself. She describes burnout as self-initiated- she created the conditions to keep going, going, going and not nourish other parts of her, including her relationships.
Lauren would get home around 10-11am in the morning after her shift. She would wake up at 8pm and go to the gym and eat before her going into her job. Shifting into and out of the weekend was especially difficult for her to readjust to a nighttime shift. What got her through it back then were rituals that helped to stabilize her. She would wake up and make hot tea every night and spent 10 minutes journaling in the same chair, which woke her up spiritually and physically. Overall, rituals are powerful and can support you throughout your life.
SELF-CARE CAN BE NOURISHMENT OR PUNISHMENT
Lauren thinks back to a time where she only engaged in self-care if she had time. Self-care was always on the back burner for her, and she came to a point where she realized she cannot continue on this path with the excuse of “if I have time.” That mentality shifted for her as she recognized that the intention behind self-care has been even more pivotal as a way to add to her life. She recalls using self-care not only if she had time, but as a way to escape with her stressors. Her self-care is nonnegotiable now. Her self-care now is more about the silence and not being afraid to be with yourself.
Sometimes an activity can be self-care and nourishing, but other times that same activity can be a source of shame and guilt for someone. For example, working out five days a week because you love it and it makes you feel good is totally different from working out five days a week because you don’t like your body and you’re trying to change it.
MINDLESS CONSUMPTION = LESS CREATIVITY
We are consuming all of the time with our current technology. We feel shitty if we’ve been on our phones mindlessly scrolling. Sometimes we consume content for wrong reasons. We can feel like we’re left out or missing out on the things going on when we see a friend didn’t invite us out or we can like our lives suck because everyone’s feeds and experiences look perfect. We take in the information from social media to be entertained.
In that space of consumption, we are pulling ourselves out of the present and can feel even more disconnected. Everything looks so much better on someone else’s Instagram feed. We’re looking outside of ourselves to find the emotional state that we want to feel, but end up feeling anything but happier and more fulfilled after we check our phones.
Every once in awhile when her comparison and judgment muscles are flaring up, Lauren will separate herself from scrolling and will complete 30-days-no-scroll challenges. She will still show up on her social media and post, but will free herself from worrying about the amount of likes and scrolling through her feed. The social media apps are designed to leave you wanting more. Social media can be a beautiful tool if we focus on building relationships and set boundaries with it so it doesn’t mindlessly take over our lives.
Lauren didn’t realize she had an alcohol problem for a long time. She used alcohol and drugs as an escape from stressors. Lauren recalls getting out of her 12am-9am shifts and waiting around until the liquor store opened to get a bottle of wine that was she was able to finish in one sitting. Miserable at her job, she used drinking as a way to cope with her misery and fear of leaving her job. She kept putting off the decision to leave her job and she used alcohol to escape making tough decisions.
Instead of being ashamed, she’s grateful for those less than ideal experiences with alcohol because it taught her she didn’t need alcohol to get through life. When she became sober, it opened up a world of possibilities for her where she had to deal with emotions head on. It was incredibly challenging in the beginning to make that adjustment, but in working through sobriety Lauren has learned to become the person she is now and has grown tremendously in all facets of her life.
She let people in her social circles know that she gave up alcohol so they were well aware of her lifestyle when they went out. When was invited to a bar, she’d say: “Sure I’d love to go out with you, but I want to let you know I don’t drink anymore.” She allowed herself to get comfortable with those words. She realized once she faced the fear of speaking her truth and spoke her truth, it came more naturally to her to share her truth with others.
Lauren defines financial wellness as a combination of having the resources to live the lifestyle you want and at the same time having the emotional state you want to have around money. At the end of the day, it’s an emotional state that’s cultivated by the relationship you have with money and not by how much money you have. With money, there needs to be a good balance of give and take.
If you want to attract abundant things, you must be in a state where you are grateful and appreciate the things that are already coming to you. The problem is that we’ve been designed to believe that gratitude is a sign of complacency. There’s a difference between someone making X amount of money a year and appreciates it and makes the most out of it versus someone that makes the same amount of money but it isn’t enough and they are not appreciative of it and frustrated.
A lot of what is your current money mindset was shaped and molded by your parents. What does ‘enough money’ actually mean? When will you feel satisfied and proud of yourself when what you have? We also learned (most of us) that there’s ‘good debt’ (i.e. your degree) and ‘bad debt’ (i.e. your car).’ Look at your financial reality and look at where you’re at- regardless of where you’re at be appreciative, which is the first step to getting where you want to be.
CHANGE YOUR MONEY LINGO
Remove “I can’t afford it” from your life. What is the true statement? For example, if you saw the price tag of a dress and you say “I can’t afford this,” take a moment and think “That’s not the truth. What is truth?” The truth can be you don’t see the value of spending $400 on a dress you’re only going to wear once. Get comfortable with owning the truth about why certain things aren’t a good fit for you. The more you can do that, the more you can recognize the things you truly want. Lauren thinks it’s important to establish a relationship with money. Set a date night with yourself to check your bank account on a weekly basis. A big don’t for Lauren was shopping to cope with boredom, stress, and other negative emotions.
Get comfortable talking about money. Set intentions with your spouse or whoever you share your life with and talk about how you can move forward with money talk. Everything that we’ve learned about money came from our upbringing and we end up believing to be true. Lauren shares recommended reading: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Pocketbook Guide to Fulfilling Your Dreams in order to learn how to create abundance in all areas of your life. If you want to enhance your financial wellness, it boils down to first deciding that you are going to prioritize this in your life.
Connect with Lauren Eliz Love:
Badass Business Babe Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badassbusinessbabe/