Emily is a leadership and business coach for women entrepreneurs. She began as a life coach in 2014 and transitioned to helping women build spiritual and sustainable businesses. She understands how personal development plays an integral role to not just develop in your career, but as a way to evolve as a person. What led her to this work was her passion for psychology and describes herself as an old soul with exposure to spirituality early on as a child. Hooked on positive psychology, she felt called to do work in that area.
Here are takeaways from our conversation:
PUT YOUR HOLISTIC LENS ON
What’s the difference between a person that’s getting by, those that are struggling or are in a state of ‘dis-ease,’ and those that are thriving in life? Emily was drawn to studying positive psychology and combining that with spiritual growth in her work. Emily expressed: “We can either choose to just survive and get by or we can choose to thrive.” We can have a preventative approach and not just wait for a problem to arise to begin the personal growth work, so we can enjoy our lives more and live to our fullest. We want to live a life that supports the best version of ourselves coming through. Bringing together the inner game (mentality, perspective, mindset) and the outer game (behaviors, rituals, practices) that actually lead to more fulfillment, success, and joy in our lives.
CHANGE YOUR AUTOMATIC PROGRAMMING
We come into adulthood with conditioning that we don’t choose. We may end up living a life that is out of alignment that isn’t really ours, but based upon our conditioning we experienced as children and the beliefs and constructs we set up to be true in our world. Essentially, we all want to create something wonderful in our lives (i.e. parenting, helping others, building a business, travel) and we can’t realize that if we are stuck in fear. We are unable to create our lives intentionally if we do not stop to examine ourselves and ask, “who is running the show?”
MANY OF YOUR BELIEFS ARE UNCONSCIOUS
A belief can lead to how much potential or the type of potential we see in our lives. Your beliefs could be limiting you or preventing you from experiencing life to its fullest potential. From there, our actions are influenced by our beliefs. That action would lead to reinforcing or not reinforcing the belief. Ultimately, this cycle can repeat itself and establish some hard-wired beliefs that may not be serving us. In order to break that cycle and shift our reality, we need a belief or a new action to create the results we want. Most of us don’t think of our unconscious programming on a daily basis. Our beliefs create our realities and our results. We need to shift our beliefs and change our action steps and strategies.
SOULFUL SELF-CARE ISN’T ABOUT THE ‘SHOULD’
Self-care has been commercialized in a way- big time. Are those activities leading to greater fulfillment in life or just giving you a quick dopamine hit to make you feel good in the moment? Emily describes soulful self-care as the practices and rituals that can deepen our connection with ourselves, spirituality whatever that looks like to you, and connection with our mission. We have something that we’re amazing at and are called to do. Self-care can consist of behaviors; for example, journaling, going to therapy, working with a coach, moving your body, etc. We also tend to do the self-care things we think we need to do based on the things we’ve seen others do (i.e. Instagram).
Are they sources of nourishment or have they just become tasks? Self-care is supposed to rejuvenate you and add energy to your time. An example would be to just block off some time in your day to just be with yourself without any distractions, or to ask yourself what would feel fun and light and then go do that. What do you need and how can you give yourself that? Honor and cultivate a strong and compassionate relationship with yourself through self-care practices. Everything else in your life- capacity to serve others, etc. expands and aligns when you do the work on yourself. You can spend a whole day doing busy work and not feel truly meaningful.
PEOPLE USE BUSYNESS TO NUMB OUT
You’re not allowed to use the word busy anymore. Cut that word out of your vocabulary. Our society equates busyness with success, which is not actually what we would actually define as success. Success can be spaciousness, having the time to do the things you want to do vs being a slave to your calendar. When busyness is a choice we make as a perspective that we agree to, we can free ourselves from that in a powerful way. How can we change that?
Instead of saying “I’m so busy,” you can say “My schedule is full” and create gratitude around those things in your life you get to do. Look at the things on your list everyday and examine where are those things coming from? Are your bullet points come from a place of people pleasing?
What is non-negotiable that needs to get done in a day and are you prioritizing it? If you use the excuse “I don’t have time for self-care,” challenge that and bring creativity to your life. While you’re studying, can you take short dance or stretch breaks? Can you take a walk while reviewing your notes?
Emily points out that anything can be self-care and anything can be self-harm. Going to the gym can be a source of shame and punishment for some and actually isn’t a form of self-care because it’s not coming from a loving place. If you’re stressing yourself out and creating more tension in your body, is it worth it? Find pleasurable moments in your life that nourish your body, mind, and soul.
BRING YOUR SOUL TO WORK
Own it at work. When you bring your full self to anything that you do, it’s magnetic and you can’t be hiding your light or dimming your brilliance. You can sense when someone is holding back and not bringing their full self to the table. You can set reminders on your phone to check in so you can get more in-tune with yourself. Think about your mission is in life- your own personal mission that doesn’t have to be just professional, but can influence how you show up at work.
Don’t be afraid to bring in those elements of soulful self-care to work. Why can’t you be the one to lead by example and create healthy changes that may inspire others you work with to do the same?
In Emily’s free bundle, she has seven tools that can help you get connected with yourself and resources to support you being productive and in alignment and avoid exhaustion.
Connect with Emily:
The Soulful Success Bundle: www.emilycassel.com/bundle
Free Facebook Group for Sexy Soulful Success Podcast Community: www.facebook.com/groups/sexysoulfulsuccess